If you feel like spicing things up in the bedroom, then these sex positions could be just the ticket. You’ve mastered missionary and and done it a bazillion times already. It may even be your go-to by now. There’s nothing wrong with that (there’s a reason so many people are into it), but if you’ve got the urge to switch things up, you’re not alone.
Remember: Experimentation and discovery are important parts of a healthy sex life. Our bodies are constantly changing. The things that we did when we were younger may not work for us in the same way as when we’re older.
This means that our bodies’ wants, desires, and abilities will evolve naturally over time. The next time you’re about to have sex, instead of resorting to your go-to moves, consider whipping out one of these crazy—or as we like to think about them, upgraded—sex positions.
Note: these will work for both long-term partners and fuck buddies! The key is to make sure you open up the topic properly first. So before we get to the hotter stuff, let’s talk about how to broach the topic first.
Tips on Talking to Your Partner About Trying New Sex Positions
First things first! You may be ready to spice up your bedroom game, but is your partner ready too? Experimenting sexually can be a great way to boost your love. It’s especially so when you’re in a long-term relationship: Sex can sometimes start to feel like having the same meal over and over again.
And while the service and menu are fantastic, sometimes you want to sample something from a different type of menu. But asking for new things to try in bed isn’t always that simple.
While variety is the spice of life — and great bedrooms — humans are creatures of habit, after all, and when you have a sexual routine, it can be difficult to switch things up.
Still, it’s a good idea to talk about trying new things in bed. You just need to do so tactfully. So, how do you approach the conversation? Listed below are six ways to discuss trying new things in bed with your partner without sending the wrong message.
See What Pop Culture Can (Already) Do For You
So you want to give your lady a pat on the rump but you don’t know how to tell her. Good news. Hollywood will tell her for you. Find a movie that fits your mind frame and queue it up.
Rent Secretary if the kinky stuff in that movie is what you’re after. And while the acting in 50 Shades of Grey is more wooden than a park bench, it puts some interesting sexual options on the screen. Streaming media is your friend. Queue up something that starts a conversation and have fun with it!
Do Your Homework
Please, don’t get ahead of yourself. Maybe getting handcuffed to the bedpost looks cool in the movies, but it could be a real nightmare when things actually come to pass. If you find yourself drawn toward any kind of R-rated activity, try doing a little research.
Take the time to figure out if what you’re thinking about is strictly fantasy, or if it’s something you actually want to bring into the bedroom. And while you’re at it, think about how your spouse will react.
If you feel there’s any potential for weirdness, then try catering your desires toward whoever it is they become in the bedroom.
Change Up Your Viewing
If those who can’t do, teach, then those who can’t say, show. Whatever it is you’re into, there is porn of it. If you really can’t find the words you need to explain your interest, then queue up some X-rated material to help deliver the message.
Besides, leaning on a couple of pros for help doesn’t sound like a bad move, especially when you’re trying to describe a move.
Go Sex Shopping
Seeing is believing. But it’s also arousing. If you and your partner are busy making a living and raising kids, then you probably don’t spend much time surfing the web for the latest in intimacy innovations.
If you’re feeling expansive, then take a trip to the nearest sex shop. Fish around for accessories related to whatever it is you’ve been fantasizing about. Present it to your partner. And have fun feeling out new options. You never know what that IRL exposure will unearth.
Talk to a Professional
Years ago, we were on our own when it came to sexual adventuring. But these days, there are professionals to help us navigate through.
Sex coaches are now a thing. So are masturbation coaches. And yeah, sex-minded hypnotists are out there, too. If you’re not sure how to communicate an interest in something new, try contracting someone to help broker the conversation. It’s an actual option.
The scariest part of all of this isn’t necessarily having the conversation — it’s starting it. How do you tell your partner you want to spice things up in the bedroom without insulting their performance or otherwise offending them?
You can start by emphasizing what you like about your sex life. Do you love it when you take your time? Try something new? Escape to a fancy restaurant before a night of romance? Start there, then ask your partner for feedback.
Use “I” statements
Talking about sex can get complicated, but you can use a quick-and-dirty template that should keep you on the right track throughout your conversation. Focus on constructing your sentences like this: “I feel X when you do Y.”
Using an “I” statement doesn’t put the focus on the partner and so can be less hurtful. Avoid making more pointed statements like, “You seem to only want to have missionary-style sex,” or “You don’t want to have oral sex anymore,” for example. Those are actually ways of attacking your partner, criticizing them, telling them they need to change.
You don’t want to embarrass or shame your partner ever. Make it an adventure you’re exploring together!
And don’t you assume already know what your partner is going to say, either. Stick with your own stuff. Keeping your statements focused on you and your feelings will encourage a more open and productive dialogue for everyone involved.
Make it a game
If this still sounds thoroughly uncomfortable, start with an activity instead. Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and ask your partner to do the same. On your paper, write down how often you’d like to have sex.
And at the bottom, write down how often you believe your partner wants to have sex. Exchange papers. Have a laugh and start a discussion.
This icebreaker can be used to jumpstart other sex-based conversations, too. You can inquire about fantasies, positions, toys and more. Just grab a piece of paper and get writing!
Beyond Missionary: 5 Exciting Sexual Positions to Try
Sex is amazing when it’s snuggly, slow or intimate. It’s an indulgence to be enjoyed—it doesn’t have to be hard work every single time. But it doesn’t have to be romantic and luxurious every single time, either!
Sometimes, sex should be fast, challenging, mind-expanding. Sometimes you want to feel as intellectually engaged in the act of sex as you are physically engaged in it. And when those moments arise, nothing hits the spot like an acrobatic sex position that looks so intimidatingly impossible you can’t help but feel enticed to attempt it.
To be clear, it would help if you are extra flexible or particularly strong to try these positions. Most of the athletic sex positions on this list are too much work for other people even consider attempting.
So yes, they’re difficult—but not impossible! Feel free to take it slow and build up to the the position. No need to dive into it ASAP. They key is to try, because even if you and your partner didn’t exactly pull it off, it’s still hot when you’re trying new things out of your comfort zone.
Check out these adventurous sex positions you can try in bed tonight:
The movies make it look so easy, but this position is actually really difficult. The “giver” stands while the “receiver” wraps themselves around the person standing. This is hard work for both people involved. The standing person has to have the strength to support the other person and the receiver has to have the strength to hold on.
If you’re hoping to do this position for a long time, then you should get ready to work out your muscles. It is often better to use this position as a transition. For example, moving from the couch to the bed can be transitioned with a standing position.
There are some over-the-door straps that can help people achieve this move. The receiver holds on to them to help keep themselves propped up. We don’t suggest trying this when you’ve had a few drinks because balance is important!
2. The Spider / The Pinwheel / The Crab Walk
This move has a lot of different names, but the concept is always the same. You’re getting into a position that makes you look like two crabs (or two spiders… or a pinwheel). To get into this position, have the giver lie on their back. The receiver then straddles them and lowers onto the penis/strap on/etc. The giver then wraps their legs around the receiver and gently thrusts.
Essentially, you look like two crabs rubbing your genitals together! However, it can be surprisingly hot to perform because you both get to look at what is happening. If you both like watching penetration, then try out this position. It is recommended to take it slow.
3. The Snow Angel / The Passion Propeller
To get into this position, you start with missionary (the giver is on top). Then, essentially, the giver does a 180-degree spin which remaining inside of the receiver.
You’ll basically get a really great view of your partner’s butt! If the partner on top has testicles and a perineum, then this is a great position to be able to fondle them.
The thrusting will be at a completely different angle than you are used to, so be careful and start off gently. Guide your partner’s body by grabbing onto their butt.
4. The X-Rated
To get into this position, start with the receiver being on top. Then, like the number 3 position, the person on top does a 180-degree spin. If the receiver remains “sitting” then it is often considered “reverse cowgirl.” In order to continue to the X-Rated position, the person on top needs to lie down.
The “X” gets its name because all four legs will form an “X.” Again, this is an unusual angle, so thrust slowly with the person on the bottom guiding the speed and angle.
5. The Wheelbarrow
This position is really tough! To get into the wheelbarrow position, the giver stands up while the receiver is on their hands and knees. The giver than grabs the receiver’s legs and pulls them up to the correct angle. It helps if the receiver has arm strength to stay in position.
If you’re just starting this position, you can try it with the giver on their knees so that they don’t have to hold the receiver as high as if they were standing.
This position is great for deep penetration and getting a wonderful view of the receiver’s butt. It isn’t easy though – it requires strength for both partners and the agility to be held up in the air.
Don’t hold this position for too long or else the receiver might get a bit dizzy.
Let us know if you try any of these positions and let us know if you enjoyed them! Now, if you want to try them out but still don’t have a partner, don’t fret. We can help with that too. Check out these tips on how to seduce a woman into going to bed with you. Trust us, they work!